truth tuesday.

no, no, it really is sunday, but "truth sunday" doesn't have nearly the same jingle as "truth tuesday." 

the other day secret says to me "you know _______ ?"

"yeah..."

"their instagram... it's kinda annoying. [i don't need to see how happy they are and how much they love each other all the time] it's just so perfect. like all the time. it's weird and annoying."

"yep, that's instagram for ya..."

and it got me thinking, i don't want anyone here to think we're too "perfect" or too "fake." especially on social media. because we're so so so so so far from that. like we've got issues. thank goodness we've got a few (thousand) days to work on them, because we've got lots of learning to do. so let me paint a picture of our family for you that is very truthful, but hopefully somewhat funny. maybe a few can relate.

last week, i was horsing around with remzer. we don't do that as often as i like because you know, there's dishes, laundry, naps, dinners, etc... you know those adult things? (and don't tell me they can wait because you can't horse around on a floor covered with crumbs... and i have ocd.) anyway, she thought it'd be funny to head butt me! once was funny, but i knew i didn't want that habit forming. hi, is this mrs. secrist? yes.... hi, there, this is mrs. pickle from remie's school, she head butted her teacher in class and we'll need you to come pick her up. her teacher couldn't call you herself because her nose is bleeding too profusely to see the phone... (deep sigh) yep.... 

any way, i told her not to do that again, but you know how 2 year olds have ears only for aesthetics? yeah she did it again. and i had a dark black eye to show for it for 2 weeks. awesome. 

"the smile and nod." the thing you do to other adults when your 2 year old is FREAKING out, trying to BUCK herself out of the stroller attracting the most attention you've had since... yesterday at this  same time. thank goodness for the 5 point harness- someone was thinking ahead on that one! yeah, kid, going home for dinner sucks, but i need to get you to bed stat. mama's got some netflix to catch up on.

oh, that cute little face, who knew you could make me second guess every thing i do. your favorite phrases right now?

#1: mom, you're making me sad. oh, i'm sorry, please, here's that tube of lipstick back, finish your wall drawing, i don't want you to ever feel sad, little princess.

#2. you're being mean! i'm being mean!?!?! you're the one who just slapped me in the face! 

honestly for a split second, i wonder if i am being mean...

we are a true semi truck at the grocery store. whoever invented these little shopping carts, they're getting a heated letter from me at some point. these devil carts were invented to slow down every shopper in the store and to get you to buy cat food for a cat YOU DON'T HAVE. do you know how many times i've left the store, only to get home, unload everything, see the stolen can of salmon lasagna (cats like weird things), load everyone back up, just to walk back and return it? damn integrity.  gets me every time.

but i feel like at this point i should get my commercial drivers license. i can whip this contraption around so well now.

so we've got remzer going to this french class right now and i have to say, for the amount of wrestling i do in the class, she's learning a few cool things. even though she can literally be a butthead sometimes, other times she's a real delight. like when she tells me "je t'aime, mom, je t'aime." oh, you cute little butthead, get over here so i can kiss your face off.

so that was the 2 year old. but what about the 7 month old?! oh yeah, he's a cutie too. but you know what else he is? A TERRIBLE SLEEPER. i don't think he got the memo in heaven that his future parents are intense sleep trainers who like 8-8 sleepers from 8 weeks on. i know, you think i'm crazy, but i'm okay with that. because remzer did do that. this kid though? no bueno.

but we've come to the understanding that he is very persistent. i mean, there are multiple days a week he'll cry for 2 straight hours in his bed because he doesn't want to sleep. see, maybe i am a mean mom.....

has anyone successfully gotten their child to stop sucking their thumb? i've asked many people this question, but almost everyone has answered "oh, don't worry about it, they'll grow out of it..." 

i am unsatisfied with this answer. we've tried the nail polish, cayenne pepper, olive oil, tape... now we're on tape and gloves. how's that for child abuse? but i do not want her sucking her thumb as a 5, 6, 7 year old, so i'm willing to do what it takes to nip the habit now.

but hear you me, the sucking has caused TONS of contention in our home. which is the reason i want it stopped. she never pays attention because she's too busy sucking her thumb. i have to ask her literally every single minute. it's to the point where even our friends now remind her to stop. it's so ridiculous. is there a thumb sucking specialist out there? if so, please send them. i'll pay whatever it takes.

remzer: what's that on your face? (points to a zit.)
me: an owie.
remzer: what happened?
me: nothing. when you're a mommy you just get owies on your face.
remzer: that's weird! (a phrase i use way too much...)
me: yeah, when you're a mommy you might get some. but i hope not.
remzer: that's a bummer.

you know what makes a great (in a good way) mess? mcdonalds balls. you can get them on amazon for 20 bucks. rainy day life saver. you're welcome.

YIKES!!! i will say i'm a little embarrassed/horrified to include this picture. BUT.... yes, i let her have a doughnut on this particularly wet day. sometimes you just need one and i've never been inside dunkin donuts. so that was a new experience. but hear you me, i'm still against food coloring.

i miss the days of family pictures where everyone is smiling so cute. after this bike ride we attempted that, but only got one shot of remie smiling. so... yeah... i don't know how people get photos of their kids all smiling genuinely. did you photoshop those smiles in? or are your kids hyped up on early halloween candy? i'm sure both... ;)

we've been trying to use some phrases of affirmation lately that are not your usual "good job" or "you're so smart." things like "i'm proud of you for being brave" or "you did a good job putting your dishes in the sink." you get the idea.

well last night remzer says to me "i'm proud of you!"

"what for?"

"giving remie mints..."


oh brother. clearly we're depriving her of mints. but thanks, that felt good!

here's a disgusting thing real parents do: when your kid has a booger in their nose and you don't have a tissue, sometimes you just have to use their shirt or even you own. i did that this week in the presence of a friend and she was surprised, but then started laughing. yeah guys, i'm really that lazy, tissues are too far.

thank goodness for the weekends. i'm telling you, after 5 twelve hour days of having the 2 kids by myself, i'm singing the praises of every single mother and everyone who has ever had more than 2 kids. (shout out to ma mamma!) come friday afternoon i can feel a mental breakdown coming on just from the constant whinings, crying and belly flopping tantrums from the kids. i feel bad, but the moment secret walks in the door i'll thrust the kids on him and jet off to "go to the grocery store...."

nah, i don't really feel bad. but seriously, i need my alone time. 

^^^ and see?! they're buddies. it's good for them. but better for me:)

so do you see what i mean? we're a snot nosed, tear filled, gut laughing, chasing, jumping, head butting, loud (we've had 2 noise complaints this month), somewhat funny, mostly crazy family who's just trying to make it work. the kids look good 80% of the time, i look good 3% of the time and secret looks good 100% of the time. i stay home with the kids everyday and that is unusual for new york, maybe because most people have caught on to the fact that THIS IS FREAKING HARD WORK and they've opted out. some days i do want to tap out.... but then i wouldn't get the opportunity to wear 3 different shirts in one day because sam used me as a napkin. 

then i wouldn't be able to squeeze their little butt cheeks, because they're so cute.

then i wouldn't be able to show off a shiner at church on sunday.

then i wouldn't be their full-time mom. and i always want to be that. no matter how un-pretty or un-perfect it is.

and that's truth tuesday.

mama bear.

to whom it may concern:

i am writing to request a full refund for the tickets we purchased yesterday for a trip from penn station, ny to gladstone, nj. we purchased these tickets with the expectation that we'd arrive at our ticketed destination after 2 hours of an uneventful ride. what we expected couldn't have been further from what happened and because of that we'd like a full refund. let me explain why and give you some things to consider:

we left penn station at 10:11am on saturday morning, had a spot to park the stroller, and seats for ourselves and 2 small kids. at our transfer at summit station, we found 200 other people also waiting for the next train we would all board. at this moment, we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into, otherwise we would've gone back home.

please consider this: if there is a large event taking place and heavy traffic is expected, wouldn't it seem polite and common sense to notify fellow passengers of impending delay and inconvenience? yes, there did seem to be more nj transit employees there than usual, but they didn't even try to inform us of what was ahead. that would've been nice.

these 200 other "frat and sorority" kids boarded the train, but we quickly had to change train cars because our double stroller wouldn't fit down the aisle so we could sit down/get out of the way. one of the nj transit employees directed us to the handicap entrance where we parked the stroller right next to the door so we could get out easily. we were all sitting down, but with each stop, more and more of these "20 somethings" boarded. and with every stop they were getting more and more drunk. and you can imagine the noise level coming from these kids, i mean, they're drunk, they're not church mice. 

a question: is alcohol (any and all) allowed on public transit? if so, is there a specific car for families and kids where they don't have to be exposed to the poor choices of others?

my husband and i finally had to stand up in the doorway of the car with our stroller and two kids to prevent us all from being squished by drunk kids hanging out in the aisles. half way through the ride there was standing room only and you can imagine how our hands were full; a 2 year old and 7 month old need room to spread out, and we were standing shoulder to shoulder with completely wasted college kids. as adults though we were fairly composed and were trying to just make it to our destination.

did you know that drunk "20 somethings" who are supposedly smart enough to get into college, don't have the vocabulary you'd expect them to? they don't know many more words other than the "f" word, the "s" word, "gosh darn it," and they love taking the lords name in vain. i'm a mother and a christian, i won't say those words myself, if you don't know what they are, ask a friend. but my 2 year old was exposed to enough vulgar language on that trip to last her an entire lifetime. that was unfortunate. i have a lot of "re-teaching" to do after this trip.

also, doesn't it seem like an extreme safety hazard to have 200 people crammed into one train car, all standing and 99.9% of them very drunk? there's gotta be some statistics out there on this.

moments later a kid 4 people over lit up his joint. you can imagine my horror and anger as he blew his smoke around for my family to inhale. i don't do drugs. i never have and never will. i hope the same for my children. so you can only expect me to freak out a little bit. but i maturely and firmly brought his attention to my kids and asked him to stop and after some attitude, he put it out.

does nj transit have any plans of hiring more security to ride its trains and protect patrons? i would've preferred to have an actual employee or security officer tell this kid to put out his joint, but because there wasn't a single employee in sight (or even on the train?) and we were clearly the only ones with any sense of regard/respect/consideration for others, i was left to put up with this guy myself. that was very annoying to put it lightly.

after a very slow ride, we're only 2 stops from where all these idiots are about to get off. i thought we were maybe in the clear and would soon get rid of everyone and get on to our final destination where we'd enjoy a fun family day (they are usually SO fun). only then did i hear some people saying "ew, that's disgusting..." and i look over to see a guy urinating on the door 3 people away. after trying to contain myself for an hour and a half, i lost it- in a very composed and mature way of course, like an adult is expected to do. i looked at the guy's friends (his back was turned to me, he drank a lot, he was still urinating) and started shaking my head. they tried giving him a warning but he kept going. at that point, i yelled "HEY, THAT IS NOT OKAY. that is disgusting and i will not have my kids stepping in your pee." it was now a little river on the floor. luckily for you, as a mother i always have baby wipes with me. i instructed the guy to clean it up right there and he did his best as a drunken college kid. he's probably never had to wipe up after himself before. but you still have a train car that smells like pee out there somewhere. good luck with that.

it might be a good idea to have more bathrooms on your trains. or just not let so many people on the trains. then he maybe could've easily walked down the aisle to find the nearest bathroom.

after some awkward moments with mr. peepee, we finally stopped at far hills where everyone was supposed to get off (hallelujah, get outta here, ya loonies). we however, were supposed to go on to gladstone, where we purchased tickets to. but at this point you've probably already gathered that on this particular day the train wasn't going to gladstone, was it? it was stopping in far hills, and from there we were supposed to take a bus to gladstone. but we didn't know that when we were sold our tickets, so darn it, thats confusing and annoying. after sitting at the far hills station for an hour waiting for the doors to open and people to disembark, we realized the doors on our car were not opening. how silly of us to think they might!! because we weren't even on the platform! people were walking to the back of the train to get off because those were the only doors opening.

well remember that double stroller we're hauling? it doesn't fit down the aisle, and it can't really fold up because we've got our gear in the bottom (with 2 kids under 2 you've got a lot of "gear"). so what are we left to do? my husband had to carry the stroller over his head and through 4 train cars to get off the train. all while stepping over empty alcohols containers littering the floor. thankfully my husband is strong and we had the option to do that. what if there was a person in a wheelchair on our car? what would they have done? if you're in a handicap car, wouldn't it make sense to pull that car onto the platform for the person to wheel out, safely and drama free? it would seem so.

at this point i think you have the idea, we eventually did make it to our destination, but 2.5 hours late, and after hiring a car. never in my life have i been so emotionally and mentally drained from riding the train. never have i been more disappointed in a public transit system. and never again will i ride nj transit. nothing that involved nj transit yesterday was positive or easy, and because of that i would like a full refund for our tickets. please contact me if you have any further questions.

sincerely,
a very protective and persistent mother and wife