utahisms.

by now most of you know that i'm from the good ole' state of utah. it's a good place. if you ask anyone who's from here they might complain about a few things, but ask a visitor? they'll only have good things to say! so i guess that's a major compliment to us locals... because as weird as we are, we're doing a good job making other people like us;)

here are a few quirks that make utah "utah":

you know that salty, salty lake that gives our capital its name? yeah well sometimes it gives off the MOST RANK SMELL YOUR NOSTRILS WILL EVER EXPERIENCE. it's called "lake stink." clever right? basically it smells like very rotten eggs. it happens when certain bacteria in the lake and treated waste water combine and their individual bacterias start to have a party..... and you know what's weird? i've been gone for so long now that sometimes if i smell a similar smell, or smell it when i go home, it makes me all happy...

summary: bacteria = lake stink = happiness.

if your budget doesn't allow a trip to the dead sea to float in the ridiculously salty water, you can just visit the GSL. it's just as salty and will give you the same experience. and guess what?! the GSL has all these little brine shrimp that are just funky little creatures, and i bet the dead sea doesn't have that. so we've got a leg up on them anyway!

 

what do you think of when you think utah? mormons. well believe it or not, not all of our state is mormon. BUT 60% count themselves among members while only 40% are active. so, noooooo, not all of us are mormon. just a good handful;)

if you live in utah and you eat food, you've probably tried the following "unique to utah" foods:

1: fry sauce (the only appropriate thing to dip your french fries in.)
2: green jello (also comes in "salad" form.)
3: funeral potatoes. (buttery, cheesey potatoes that bring happiness to any funeral.)
4: dutch oven dinners. (we love to pretend we're pioneers and cook food the hard way. because cooking with coals and stacking 30 pound pots is way more fun than just popping it in the oven for 10.)
5: scones. (not the type of scones the queen eats. it's just like a fried piece of dough that's all puffy, oily and leaves you feeling fat. of course delicious, but also guarantees you a heart attack.)
6: diet coke. (everyone here loves it. don't ask why. but they LOVE it.)

we have amazing outdoor activities. hiking, boating, skiing, bike riding, pokemoning.... (okay, that last one was just a little jab at all you pokemoners out there. that is not a thing. and i can't wait for it to go away.) and guess what? you can do almost any of these things by just driving an hour. you wanna go hike a waterfall before dinner? drive to the mountain, boom, done. you want to paraglide through the canyon before your 9am class? drive to the nearest canyon, boom, done. you want to go to an outdoor concert? just follow your ears to the nearest one. boom, done.

but seriously arches national park? amazing. you know that delicate arch you see everywhere? well i've heard it's getting more delicate by the day and will eventually fall down... so you should probably make a point of seeing it in the next couple months.*+

*you're welcome department of tourism for spiking your numbers for this quarter.
+and that is not a verified fact... that's just the word on the street. my street.

utahns have a few words that are different from the rest of the country. for example:
we say: soda.
they say: pop.
we say: sucker.
they say: lollipop.
we say: mountain (silent t).
they say: mounTain.
we say: sluff (like "stuff class").
they say: skipped, missed, cut...
we say: biff.
they say: crashed.
we say: ward. (mormon word.)
they say: congregation.

you know what also goes well with green jello salad? celebrities. here are some people I BET you didn't know were from/born in utah:

- Chrissy Teigen
- Butch Cassidy
- Roseanne Barr
- Jewel
- Derek and Julianne Hough
- Matthew Davis

and if that doesn't impress you, then surely this will. these celebrities have homes in utah. if you don't, you should get one, too.

- Robert Redford (he's your mom's celebrity crush.)
- Mitt Romney (you know him because of that head of hair.)
- Jeffrey Katzenberg (you can thank him for Kung Fu Panda when you see him on the streets. he's the CEO of dreamworks.)
- Ty Burell. (even owns a popular bar in downtown.)
- Katherine Heigl (she was once a mormon!)
- Michael Jordan (yes, you read that right.)
- Will Smith (thanks to i am legend, if there's ever a zombie attack we know where he'll be. and i'll be there, too. he's had practice.)

some other quick things. not facts, not generalizations, just observations:

we have a holiday that is unique to us, and especially mormons. PIONEER DAY! it's a celebration of when our ancestors came into the salt lake valley in 1847. so we celebrate heritage with pioneer games, food and parades! i think all of the U.S. should adopt this holiday because it's freaking fun.

yes, we like big families. we don't shun people with 1, 2 or 3 kids... but 4 seems about average and to hear about the crazies with 14 kids is not uncommon. (no seriously. i'm at a family reunion right now and there is another family here with 14 kids and FIFTY grandkids. WHAT?!??!)

yes, people here like weird names. the weird spelling and pronunciation get people all excited. "how weird can we make it?!?!" well let's see: (they especially like x's and y's.)

- braxton
- payzlei
- ashtyn
- oakley
- cohyn
- tannin
- jagger
- BrynLee (notice the multiple capitalizations... very clever and unique.)
- TyLynn
- briggs
- jazlin

when i was a kid i was totally into this "name game" we have going on. i have written in my childhood journal, a list of names i wanted to name my kids. one of them being: nevaeh (nuh-veh-ah). because, it's 'heaven' backwards, duh!!! no joke. what a tender little spirit i was...

you get the idea. so there seems to be a little chart utahns find especially handy when naming their kids. you can find it here.

and here is another youtube video to make your day.

you're so welcome.

p.s. thanks mom and dad for naming me just amanda. that's a very normal name and i like it like that.

if you're friends with anyone from utah and they have a baby or toddler girl, you'll notice that they also might like to put cabbage-sized bows and flowers on their kids head. it's almost like the bigger the better... so i'm not attacked and sued, i'll refrain from posting some pictures i've seen exemplifying this trend, so just look them up yourself.  they love big bows and i cannot lie.... (good luck getting that out of your head today.)

do you get the idea?? we're a peculiar people, but guess what?! we like it like that. other states have their peculiarities as well, they just don't know how to laugh about them. so i guess we'll just continue to own up to these weird things that make us US. now it's 11pm and seriously craving some funeral potatoes... we had a family gathering on sunday, so i'm bound to find some leftovers somewhere.

peace out, peeps. see you at the arch!

also, if you want to hear an epic song, listen to this. it's my favorite utah song! my ringtone for all my utahns.

dear children.

a letter to you that maybe you'll appreciate when you have kids of your own:

the personalities that are POURING out of you are crazy, funny, weird, cute and sometimes frustrating.

sometimes i worry that you kids will only have memories of my phone in front of your face- i know it feels like i'm always taking your picture! but guess what??? i NEVER want to forget you at this phase. you're so, so, stinking cute! i just want to squeeze those little bum cheeks of yours and give your neck a big slobbery kiss. i don't want to forget! so sorry, not sorry.

to both of you, i dread the day when you want to pick out your own clothes... it might seem selfish of me, but i love dressing you! and remzer, i know you hate hats, but sorry, you get to keep wearing them:) sam doesn't complain about his hat... so.... i don't think you should either.

and we're going to keep your shoes on. do you see anyone else taking their shoes off? you're OBSESSED with having bare feet and although comfortable, sorry, we wear shoes.

you two are the reason i shower at night. i get home everyday sweaty and sticky from all the time i spend carrying and chasing you around. i go to bed every night completely exhausted, but so do you, so does that mean we're both fulfilling our roles as mom and kids??

( ^^^ kid in front, not my kid. neighbor kid.)

p.s. you wanna know what gives a parent MAJOR ANXIETY?? riding a bike around the city with a child on the back. (major anxiety.)

but worth it.

sammy boy, just so you know, your real name is samuel. not sampson. i know i call you that all the time, and i need to stop, but it's just so cute.

and confession, sometimes i let you cry it out more than usual because your crying face is freaking adorable. you legitimately pout. i don't know anyone else who does that. and when you're pouting/crying it's usually because you're tired. so you're a fairly easy baby. right now you're in this velociraptor phase: that's when you scream and holler very high and very loud. it's ear splitting; slightly funny, but also painful.

you know what guys, one of the reasons i take so many pictures is because we're going to move from this place eventually and i want you to know what life was like when we lived in NYC. you won't remember these adventures, but at least there will be evidence of it.

remzer, i also want you to know about the first time we took you to the beach (as an aware toddler). we expected you to stay far away from the water, (i didn't even bring your swimsuit) but the moment you saw it, you demanded a "nemo diaper" and went running into the water. it was freezing. and i was watching for sharks the entire time (that's a REAL anxiety causer). but you did it. we were wildly impressed!

now anytime we ask what you want to do, you reply: beach, sharks. (i did not teach you shark. you came up with that on your own. i promise.)

some of our favorite words from that day, and appropriately so: sheeshell and cab (crab).

you are so a girl. a full blown girl. you get a hold of a pair of shoes and the hands go right to the hips. work it, girl, work it.

sampson, you're so quick to smile. i can't even handle it. you honestly make me laugh every time we meet eyes. you can't help but smile and i can't help but laugh. thank you for being my happy boy!

remzer, you know what you're into right now? friends! you're all into friends! if you could spend every hour with friends, you would. you are such a social butterfly and you can thank me for that later;)

sam, you're one cool dude. your hipster sense of style is working for you. you can thank me later, too!

remzer, the other morning i asked you, "did you have good dreams?"
you: yes.
me: what did you dream about?
you: mustaches.

next day, dad asked you: did you have good dreams?
you: yes.
dad: what did you dream about?
you: nothing.

you kids. everything is so interesting to you these days. sam gazes so intently at everything bright and moving, it's adorable. and remzer you yell "OH!" when you see something cool. i feel like i'm constantly saying "oh, wow!" in my annoying mom voice. our trip to to freedom tower was one of those times. i said "oh, boy!" and "wow, awesome!" so many times that day...

me: remie, what do you want for your birthday?
you: treats. (oh, dear... we're doomed.)

sometimes i worry that you kids aren't going to make it through the sweaty summer we're experiencing. you're cheeks are dewy and pink after a long day out and about. i'm constantly pumping you with fluids! but you've never complained. in fact, i think you just enjoy the excuse it gives us to go to the splash pad and to stick things to your tummies (remie...). hey, baby, enjoy! you only get one childhood.

remzer, right now you're digging buckets, shovels, mickey mouse and nemo. (but you have yet to see nemo, so i need to figure that one out...)

 

some other notable things:

- after a visit to the doctor for some shots, you were awarded a red sucker. you enjoyed it so much and at least once a week you ask to go to the doctor. why? to get shots. why do you want shots? to get a sucker.

sammy boy, you're a good sleeper. right now you're going from 8-7am and one of the cutest things is your face at the 8pm feeding. you're in a deep milk coma and your chubby belly and double chin smile crack us up.

i also think you're getting your first teeth... :/ you've been a drooling mess these past days and i'm sure it's coming!

and let it be known: july 15th, 2016, you rolled over for the first time. i'm happy for you buddy, but also HATE that you're growing.

well you little poops, i sure love ya. i'm sure you've noticed that on occasion you'll find me tearing up while reading books because i just love you so. but i'm sure you've also seen me cry tears when i feel like i'm drowning. keeping you two happy and healthy is really hard! but we're all trying. so high 5 to all of us (dad included) for trying to keep it together.