what an annoying run-on sentence that was. forgive me.
since my last update, little has changed, except for a lot that has.
job wise: after really taking time to himself, aj is doing his thing. it includes, growing his talents on the banjo, brainwashing our kids with dodger information, working out and talking about macros a lot, playing tons of cars with sam, and still keeping things fresh on the work front.
we think that his days in the hedge fund world are over, which is totally fine. it's super stressful and he has enough grey hairs. so he's working on his own projects with friends. some of which are amazingly cool and you should ask him about yourself.
besides just being along for the ride, i've also been working on being "myself." besides being a mom and wife, i'm first and foremost a woman and i've tried to spend the last few months zoning in on my spiritual and mental sides. reading tons (send me your book recommendations), working out more, listening to podcasts (there are some crazy ones out there...), listening in church, wearing freaky face masks around the house (hanacure anyone???), etc. all important things that sometimes get lost in motherhood.
after dealing with a miscarriage late last summer (don't worry, i'm fine), i was a basket case of worry when a pregnancy test showed up positive in october. i got a little crazy and ordered a pack of 100 pregnancy tests when we started trying and i probably went through 20 that day alone.
i should've been beside myself with excitement, and i definitely was, but i kept telling myself not to get excited because it wasn't going to stick. (any "this is us" fans out there? remember kate's big episode about this?? they are so real, i love them.)
a few weeks went by, no morning sickness, so i was VERY SURE, it wasn't going to stick. but a little relief snuck into my heart when i was hit hard with the nausea and had to have both grandmas come help.
long story short, remie finally asked why my belly was getting so big and why my butt was so jiggly, so we finally told them and everyone is over the moon. this little boy is going to be smothered with love by everyone. he's expected to arrive june 9th, which is also remie's birthday, so we're going to be induced a few days early unless he comes earlier (and i'm accepting prayers in that regard if you can spare them!).
but i'll admit, there is still a great deal of me that's intensely worried about this pregnancy. women for thousands of years have been bringing kids into this world and you're never "in the safe zone." but listening to pioneer stories from early saints has taught me one thing: although you're never in the safe zone, God is ALWAYS in the safe zone.
when emma smith lost her first 3 children hours after childbirth, i thought "why would God let that happen?? her husband is on the Lord's errand! give them a break!" but hours later, they would receive a revelation or inspiration of sorts that would bring them great comfort and maybe even joy.
God wants us to experience life, all of it. but he won't let us experience it alone. and that's cool.
so we keep plugging along! between the kids and adults in our family, we feel like the learning curve is steep. and i mean steeeeeeeeeeeep.
the kids are growing and learning. that means lots of fighting, punching, headbutts, gratuitous use of the word "booty," and laughing (right, please tell me your kids do that...) but we're alive. and i must say that despite all that, we've been pretty good to our downstairs neighbors.
(if you're reading this neighbor: can you please slip a note under our door with a grade on how we're doing? 1 being: still giant lead feet on the floors, and 5 being: bunny rabbit light. we'd really appreciate the feedback.)
but crew, we're good! living here in sf has really opened our eyes to just how much more we have to learn in life. a year ago we were living a life of adventure and excitement in nyc, but now it's time to slow down and focus on us and who we are. so we'll keep saying booty, rolling our eyes and trying to teach manners.
if you can give me a fist bump the next time you see me, i'd be so appreciative;)
L'chaim, guys!
xoxo, amanda
