the learning curve.

i went into this whole "2nd child" chapter with a very confident idea of what it would look like and entail. well let me tell you.... i was off. WAY OFF let me explain:

here's what i learned: i was under the impression that having a baby naturally isn't "that big of a deal and is sort of a beautiful experience." um, having a baby naturally its not a beautiful experience AT ALL. although i didn't scream like they do in the movies, i definitely shed way more tears than i did with remie.  sam came quick, like active labor for an hour, 2 pushes, HELLO BABY quick! but i kid you not, it was the hardest thing i've done in my life thus far. i'm super proud of myself and felt like a true hero, but oooo-da-la-lee... it was quite something.

 

here's what i learned: introducing your first kid to the new one isn't always this tender loving moment. sometimes the older one only cares about yogurt and the "owie" (umbilical cord) on baby's belly. i had dreams of remzer being completely in love with her little brother, and although she will come to be, it was sort of just a moment of "well that's cool, guys. mom, when are you coming home?"

here's what i learned: i thought for sure i could be that mother that had it together from square one. kids perfectly dressed and coiffed, mom back to pre-pregnancy weight, dad happily stuffed with a home cooked meal. LOOK AT MY KID. she's not dressed. my postpartum belly is still with me (8 weeks later) and secret has cleaned out all of our frozen burritos. so we're alive, but definitely not as put together as i hoped. and i'm convinced those moms who do "have it all together", secretly have a nanny (or two) hiding out at home.... #findthenannies

>>> EVEN FOR THIS PICTURE: week old, unwashed hair. loooooove it (sarcastic smile).

>>> also faking the "i love my brother" look. i bribed her with 2 orange tic-tads for this baby:)

here's what i learned: i thought i could still pull of days of endless adventure. well between feedings sometimes we can only make it out for a quick walk or stop at the grocery store. but that's okay, right?! this season of feeding every 3 hours really is just a season. at least i tell myself that. i also tell myself that leggings are ALWAYS in season. if that's a lie, don't tell me... LET ME LIVE THE LIE.

here's what i learned: having parents come to town to help you is amazing. downside? when they leave reality hits HARD....

here's what i learned: signing your oldest kid up for lots of unnecessary classes is a nightmare during the early stages with a newborn. terrible idea. the first day by myself of course it was pouring rain as we hustled to her "ballet class"... AAAAAAAND you can't even call it that, as the toddlers just lay on the floor eating the stray raisin they just found. 

oh wait, only my kid does that?? 

cool.

REALITY: pushing a stroller with 2 kids on it can be a freaking circus. first of all it's heavy. second, it's like driving a semi truck. 3rd, it calls all this unwanted attention as people stop to gawk at your "contraption." one guy stopped me and asked if it was "hard pushing a high rise...." what does it look like, SIR????

here's what i learned: boys pee a lot, and they pee all over. one minute, dry. next minute, WHY IS YOUR HAIR ALL WET?! why is your sister all wet?? why am i all wet??? and pee isn't the only problem. their little bowels can do other things, too. weird things. like, it's impressive how sneaky their little poops can be.

TMI??

sorry.

here's what i learned: mom guilt is real. i've discovered the only way to help not feel so guilty is get up way before the kids and get myself completely taken care of. then when they wake up i can get them ready and we can get out the door to galavant around town. then it's all about them until nap time. nap time? the only time of the day where i ignore the guilt completely and also take a nap. #napqueen

here's what i learned: etsy is the best place to buy little boy clothes. i've decided that sams style will be "hipster." can i do that? can i decide that for him?

i don't know. i don't care. hipster it is:)

here's what i learned: watching LDS general conference is now like trying to put a fork in a socket without getting shocked- impossible. kids are either jumping on the bed, or asking for snacks, sliding down the slide, blocking your view of the speaker, etc. the shenanigans are just unreal!

here's what i learned: the "doddler toddler" is A LEGITIMATELY REAL THING. who knew it could take so long for a person to walk such a short distance. there are rocks to taste, baskets to climb into, dogs to talk to, bird poop to pick, tantrums to throw.... the whole outing just takes FOREVER.

settle in people, this will be the longest, but slowest walk of you life. but i guess one could argue she's just teaching me patience....?

here's what i learned: take whatever quiet, alone moment you can get with the new baby. sometimes a whole day will go by before i realize that i haven't really (really) looked at sammy pants. you know that deep, loving, cooing look all new parents give their baby? so when remzer is asleep and it's just us two, i've started to smother this kid with kisses and love. because heavens knows, as soon as she gets up, the shenanigans will resume.

here's what i learned: toddlerhood is 50% hard, 50% fun. this kid, let me tell ya: repeats almost everything i say (i learned that from jokingly telling secret to shut up one day [yikes!!!]), says hello to everyone that passes, is super insistent on wearing her hat anytime i wear mine, but then of course finds the hat to be unbelievably "ichy (itchy)." it's just an entire day of juggling with her. BUT i'll take it. all day, any day. I'LL TAKE IT.

>>>> her newest way of expressing her unwillingness to do what i've asked. accompanied by a strong "no."

here's what i learned: to just take it all in strides:) life is indeed c'est bon! sometimes i just forget and get all caught up on looking like we have it all together (i'm convinced no one does!!). well guess what? sometimes i find myself laughing the hardest when sam farts super loud in public (a regular occurrence) and remie goes running off with boogers smeared across her face. we may not have it all together but we sure have fun trying.