dear children.

a letter to you that maybe you'll appreciate when you have kids of your own:

the personalities that are POURING out of you are crazy, funny, weird, cute and sometimes frustrating.

sometimes i worry that you kids will only have memories of my phone in front of your face- i know it feels like i'm always taking your picture! but guess what??? i NEVER want to forget you at this phase. you're so, so, stinking cute! i just want to squeeze those little bum cheeks of yours and give your neck a big slobbery kiss. i don't want to forget! so sorry, not sorry.

to both of you, i dread the day when you want to pick out your own clothes... it might seem selfish of me, but i love dressing you! and remzer, i know you hate hats, but sorry, you get to keep wearing them:) sam doesn't complain about his hat... so.... i don't think you should either.

and we're going to keep your shoes on. do you see anyone else taking their shoes off? you're OBSESSED with having bare feet and although comfortable, sorry, we wear shoes.

you two are the reason i shower at night. i get home everyday sweaty and sticky from all the time i spend carrying and chasing you around. i go to bed every night completely exhausted, but so do you, so does that mean we're both fulfilling our roles as mom and kids??

( ^^^ kid in front, not my kid. neighbor kid.)

p.s. you wanna know what gives a parent MAJOR ANXIETY?? riding a bike around the city with a child on the back. (major anxiety.)

but worth it.

sammy boy, just so you know, your real name is samuel. not sampson. i know i call you that all the time, and i need to stop, but it's just so cute.

and confession, sometimes i let you cry it out more than usual because your crying face is freaking adorable. you legitimately pout. i don't know anyone else who does that. and when you're pouting/crying it's usually because you're tired. so you're a fairly easy baby. right now you're in this velociraptor phase: that's when you scream and holler very high and very loud. it's ear splitting; slightly funny, but also painful.

you know what guys, one of the reasons i take so many pictures is because we're going to move from this place eventually and i want you to know what life was like when we lived in NYC. you won't remember these adventures, but at least there will be evidence of it.

remzer, i also want you to know about the first time we took you to the beach (as an aware toddler). we expected you to stay far away from the water, (i didn't even bring your swimsuit) but the moment you saw it, you demanded a "nemo diaper" and went running into the water. it was freezing. and i was watching for sharks the entire time (that's a REAL anxiety causer). but you did it. we were wildly impressed!

now anytime we ask what you want to do, you reply: beach, sharks. (i did not teach you shark. you came up with that on your own. i promise.)

some of our favorite words from that day, and appropriately so: sheeshell and cab (crab).

you are so a girl. a full blown girl. you get a hold of a pair of shoes and the hands go right to the hips. work it, girl, work it.

sampson, you're so quick to smile. i can't even handle it. you honestly make me laugh every time we meet eyes. you can't help but smile and i can't help but laugh. thank you for being my happy boy!

remzer, you know what you're into right now? friends! you're all into friends! if you could spend every hour with friends, you would. you are such a social butterfly and you can thank me for that later;)

sam, you're one cool dude. your hipster sense of style is working for you. you can thank me later, too!

remzer, the other morning i asked you, "did you have good dreams?"
you: yes.
me: what did you dream about?
you: mustaches.

next day, dad asked you: did you have good dreams?
you: yes.
dad: what did you dream about?
you: nothing.

you kids. everything is so interesting to you these days. sam gazes so intently at everything bright and moving, it's adorable. and remzer you yell "OH!" when you see something cool. i feel like i'm constantly saying "oh, wow!" in my annoying mom voice. our trip to to freedom tower was one of those times. i said "oh, boy!" and "wow, awesome!" so many times that day...

me: remie, what do you want for your birthday?
you: treats. (oh, dear... we're doomed.)

sometimes i worry that you kids aren't going to make it through the sweaty summer we're experiencing. you're cheeks are dewy and pink after a long day out and about. i'm constantly pumping you with fluids! but you've never complained. in fact, i think you just enjoy the excuse it gives us to go to the splash pad and to stick things to your tummies (remie...). hey, baby, enjoy! you only get one childhood.

remzer, right now you're digging buckets, shovels, mickey mouse and nemo. (but you have yet to see nemo, so i need to figure that one out...)

 

some other notable things:

- after a visit to the doctor for some shots, you were awarded a red sucker. you enjoyed it so much and at least once a week you ask to go to the doctor. why? to get shots. why do you want shots? to get a sucker.

sammy boy, you're a good sleeper. right now you're going from 8-7am and one of the cutest things is your face at the 8pm feeding. you're in a deep milk coma and your chubby belly and double chin smile crack us up.

i also think you're getting your first teeth... :/ you've been a drooling mess these past days and i'm sure it's coming!

and let it be known: july 15th, 2016, you rolled over for the first time. i'm happy for you buddy, but also HATE that you're growing.

well you little poops, i sure love ya. i'm sure you've noticed that on occasion you'll find me tearing up while reading books because i just love you so. but i'm sure you've also seen me cry tears when i feel like i'm drowning. keeping you two happy and healthy is really hard! but we're all trying. so high 5 to all of us (dad included) for trying to keep it together.