it was a weird day.

genuinely, maybe the most bizarre day i've had in my life thus far. as far as i can remember anyway. and the weirdest part was i look back and feel i should've been frustrated all day and completely frazzled, BUT i think because it was just so out of the norm, i was just weirded out...

so we're walking to class on a wednesday morning. it doesn't matter that much that we were walking to class, but it kind of does because it'll make more sense, but we're walking down park ave. and i pass (little speedy legs here always passes and is never passed) this woman wearing a huge fur coat that has been dyed navy blue, velvet boots that end over the knee (eye roll) and a big floppy black hat. she's chatting on the phone. as i pass her, i hear her say to the person on the phone:

"oh my gosh, i just saw the cutest kids with their nanny."

eye roll from me. she catches up to me while i'm waiting for the light at the corner, we make eye contact.

"i'm actually the mom" i say.

to the person on the phone, she says "oh my gosh. i'm so embarrassed! it's actually the mother. you never see that these days, it's very unusual. but refreshing." 

she's not even looking at me. just talking about me, while standing right next to me. i decide to speed up to get away.

i get in front of her again and i hear:

"oh my gosh, the mom is wearing braids! like a little german girl. oh how darling."

YES. OKAY. I LIKE BRAIDS. it's my "mom hair-do" or my "6th-day-without-a-wash-hair-do."

now i'm like super self conscious. and now she's caught up to me again on the other corner!!! come on woman, don't you need to turn? madison ave is the other way!

"so how old are the kids???..."

me with a slight voice of annoyance "2.5 and 11 months.."

"how great. and you're the mom? tell me, did you have a c-section?" SHE ASKS WHILE POKING MY BELLY/COAT. the nerve.

"nope."

"oh, well that's too bad (???). i do pre and post natal pilates for women who have had c-sections. you might have been able to come. do you have any friends who have had c-sections??..."

POACHER. of moms. bye lady.

and i turned the corner and took the extra long way to get to class. 1st weird thing of the day.

^^^ constantly interested in the weird doings of his sister...

^^^ and this is how he wakes me up in the morning. nothing like a little "needle nails action" to get you out of bed.

so the next weird thing is also a huge bummer and unfortunate thing. i, for the first time in my life and i hope the last time, witnessed someone trying to commit suicide. we were walking home from french and we came upon all this stopped traffic and 20 emergency vehicles. i was trying to push the semi-stroller through the crowd when i realized everyone was looking up and had their phones out. my stomach totally dropped as i realized they were all watching a potential jumper. i looked up and sure enough some guy was standing on the balcony looking down at everyone below. it was freezing outside and he was wearing only a t-shirt and pants, so clearly out of place.

the police had put a giant bouncy pit at the bottom, so even if he jumped he'd probably survive. but still, i was furious at the crowd for filming and taking pictures! i feel like that was so inappropriate and disrespectful. i obviously did not want to be around if and when he jumped, so i was running over toes left and right as i got the stroller through the crowd.

our friends happen to live in that building, so i called them after and thankfully they reported that the guy didn't jump. he was a real estate agent who had lost his job the night before and had shown that apartment the day before. so he knew it was empty and he locked himself in there. it was just really bizarre and unfortunate! i genuinely hope i never see/experience something like that ever again.

2nd weird, unfortunate thing.

so now we're back home. dinner time, great, let's get the kids to bed and netflix our butts off. so i'm warming up samwich's bottle, aj has him in the bedroom getting changed. remie is with me at the table eating dinner. to warm up the breast milk we usually put it in a cup in the sink with the hot water running over it.

i got up to go check on it and walked into an inch of water. yep, a cup totally clogged up the drain and it had overflowed BIG TIME. idk how i didn't hear it dripping, but that sly little sink overflowed and we had to find all the towels in the house to soak it up before it leaked to the apartment below. thankfully we got it, but man, that was annoying. and weird. that shouldn't/doesn't happen often.

3rd weird annoyance.

kids in bed! kids in bed! the best time of the day! i just finished my episode of parks and rec and i'm headed to bed myself. we're all snuggled into those cold, crisp sheets, i'm almost in sleep position when samwich starts stirring.

NOOOOOOOO. everyone stop breathing. maybe he'll go back to sleep.

he doesn't.

let him cry for an hour. no change. get him up rock him. no change. binky in mouth, no change.

so that started about 11pm. i put him in the bath. bounced him up and down. put him in the bath again. was about to go out for a walk and i realized that little boy was feeling hot.

so i stripped him down, gave him some tylenol. he falls asleep on my chest for 30 minutes. it's 2:45 in the morning. he wakes up, totally mad, and i've said all the prayers i know how to say. this kid needs a reprieve from whatever is ailing him.

so, like moms all over the planet, who do selfless, kind, priceless things for their kids (my mom did this for me a many times), i got my clothes on, grabbed a cab and headed to the er, convinced a rare disease had befallen my son and he needed immediate attention.

in case you're wondering, the er on the upper east side is completely empty at 3am. but still takes 30 minutes to get you into the doctor. they don't want you getting in the habit of just walking in there and seeing someone right away. even if you do have a rare disease.

turns out that rare disease was an ear infection. can you imagine? of course you can because apparently they're pretty common.

i thought we'd be home by 4, but they kept us until 5 and we got home, fell into bed and samwich woke back up at 6:30. and at that point, our day began.

you can imagine how worthless i was the next day. i just kept thinking about all the weird things that had happened the previous day and i kept scratching my head. i had just finished the series of unfortunate events on netflix, so maybe "unfortunate events" were on the mind. but i really did just keep thinking, "wow, what a weird and unfortunate day."

^^^ one of my favorite mosaics in the new subway. it's AMAZING.

>>> and see this boy with the lady in a black shirt?... he's in remie's class, his name is WEBBY. that's even a weird name by utah standards, i have no idea how they came up with that. but you can bet your bottom by the end of the semester i'll have the entire story. and i'll return and report.

  

 ^^^ right??? this image will be stuck in your brain forever now. you're welcome:)

^^^ visiting the old subway trains from the beginning of time. notice in the top picture, my hair in braids. see, i really do love them. no shame.

 ^^ before we know it remzer will be working for some fancy designer like dior. see that ribbon? oh, i mean belt. she came up with that all on her own. clever little devil. a true fashionista. the french would be proud.

^^ this is only a third of our crew, but on the way to the subway a woman mumbled "ugh, here comes the gang of moms." yeah lady, we're a gang, you better watch yoself before we throw baby wipes and wubbanubs at you...

^^ she had the entire class staring at her as she ate this raw leek in it's entirety. the teacher listened in amazement as i told her remzer will eat anything. she licks cumin off her fingers. she will ask for pieces of onion. she will try and chew black beans raw.

i don't even know. but i'm not complaining that she's eating raw leeks. you go girl. we don't accept picky eaters here.

 >>> leek quiche.

^^^ this is the face of a child drinking her hot chocolate as we talk about how "you have to be potty trained to go to school." yes, that's coming up. i'll tell you about that next post. it's cra-zy.

p.s. omg, and you know what tops this all off?? i just remembered last week secret had jury duty all week!! wah-wah. and it was a doozey case. he always gets those. how unfortunate;)