where's the worth?

today in young women's our lesson was on individual worth. it naturally made me reflect on my own worth as a mom, wife, woman, friend, etc. and a few things occurred to me.

the world will tell you that your worth comes from the clothes you wear or the trends you can keep up with.

your worth depends on how clean your house is and the perfect combination of white, gold, and plant life. (although a good combo:)

your worth depends on how cool of a career you have. the closest i'll ever get to a board room is walking into the kids' room and remix declaring "i'm bored."

or what about how many followers you have on social media?? last week a "friend" posted that she had maxed out her friends on Facebook (like she literally could not add more. i didn't know that was a thing.) and i'll admit, for a BRIEF moment i felt like a loser for not maxing out my friends. then i realized it was dumb to feel that way because i'd rather have 10 quality friends, than 5000 "sure-why-nots."

you know?

so anyway, today, when my living room was covered in puzzle pieces, (you know the ones with the little pegs that are crippling thorns when stepped on?), i would have, in my snappy mom voice, told the kids to start cleaning up. because i love a clean house, it gives me satisfaction, and if someone happened to drop by i want them to be wildly impressed.

but i decided that in that moment, my worth depended more on what type of mom i was. playing and joining in on the fun definitely brought more satisfaction. at the expense of a few of those 'puzzle thorns' in the back as we wrestled.

so i want to post some pictures of things that bring me true satisfaction and help me feel self worth. because i'm going to need some reminding next time someone else maxes out their friends on Facebook (forehead slap).

- being THAT mom. the one who will engage and isn't sporting a thigh gap wearing all lululemon. i like that.

- having a village that engages with us! they keep me sane and i love my small village of less than 5000.... much less:)

- i actually find self worth in watching the kids we created interact with each other and the world. pretty cool.

- and although my first instinct was to whip it outta her nose and say "gross," i resisted and took satisfaction in belly laughing with her.

- taking the babies on adventures and having them sleep on the go. that means we're having fun.

- when they snatch my only expensive personal item (my sunglasses) and i want to snatch them back. but instead i watch her put them on and pose like a boss. i like her.

- this might make me a bad mom, but i take satisfaction in how accurate this bird's aim was.

- being alone at the beach. no friends, so no excuse not to talk and engage with the kids. just me and the little peaches, lounging together, digging holes.

- we all know that goats bring me great satisfaction. and yes, remix is crying. let's pretend those are tears of pure exuberance.

- she actually helps me feel worth when she goes out like this. if she doesn't care what others think, then i shouldn't care either. i don't have a beautiful hermes bag, designer jeans, a car, or even a bedroom for everyone in our family. but that's okay, i've got a kid wearing goggles in fedex. boom.

- isn't it great to watch kids truly enjoy themselves. i've actually started seeking out activities i know will be especially fun for them because i find worth as a mother watching them let loose!

- worth comes from seeing long time friends grow up in great ways. it tells you you're doing an okay job as a friend.

- and this is just proof that samson is really a bully to remix and she's kinda a baby about it... hahaha

 - worth in bad selfies showing life how it really is! because that's real, yo!! and because this is really what i look like.

- i actually feel worth being around my parents. and being reminded that they've worked super hard to raise "a nice human," so i need to get it together and be a nice human. 

- family pictures: i worked super hard on her french braids (how do other moms get that little baby hair to cooperate??) and tried to keep tootsie-roll drool off his white shirt. but i really loved seeing their sugar high.

- parenting together is satisfactory. is it bad that i kinda smirk/smile when he puts remix on time out? i swear i'm always the one doing it, and that proves that we're really doing it together.

(disclaimer: no, parenting to me doesn't = discipline. it was just an example.)

so yeah, just remember moms, dads, single ladies, single moms, single bros, single dads, girlfriends, boyfriends... k, you get the idea. next time that beautiful model lady comes walking into the restaurant with her handsome buff man and she orders just a "side salad" as you swallow your burger whole.... you go, dude! who cares how they define you. cause i define you as cool.