"i'm not a tourist".

what to to in NYC when you're not a tourist.

(okay, even if we are TECHNICALLY tourists, sometimes our pride gets to us and we strut around this foreign town sans fanny pack and act like we own the joint. so for those of us who fit into that category, here are some things a native new yorker might be seen doing on an average day.)

(big thanks to our nyc native: JH for teaching us what to do.)

(( OH but you CAN wear your tennis shoes. even the natives do. yesterday i had the audacity to wear skinny jeans and tennis shoes and not a single person spit on me. (one person looked like they were going to, but then yelled psych!!! and ran away.) so it's acceptable.))


>>> you go to governors island. a super short ferry ride takes you over to this pedestrian only island that was previously an army fort. i guess you could say it's how NY does alcatraz.

 >> and you'll probably find yourself at the hammock park, yes you heard right, hammock park, where you scout out a hammock and stake yourself to it for an hour before someone comes preying on it. if you leave your hammock, it's not yours anymore. sorry, not sorry.

>> and naturally, the natives would probably pick up one of these homemade snicker doodle ice cream sandwiches with cinnamon ice cream in the middle. and most likely you'll take an hour to eat it because you never wanted it to end....

>> remie: is that the ice cream truck?????

 

 >> after spending the weekend binge eating ice cream, cupcakes, and swedish fish, they would wisely cleanse themselves with a little chobani, for the win!

>> and if you really wanna get real, you'll let a baby pee on you >>> pick a baby, any baby.

>> the most sophisticated of new yorkers take a visit to the met, where they walk around with their hands behind their back looking contemplative; except for when they whip out their monocle to take a closer look at the monet's.

>> continuing on with the health craze: a stop at TBD for some cashew cheese breakfast bagels & almond milk french toast is in order.

>> BUT we CAN'T eat healthy all the time: BORING. so perhaps a pineapple jalapeño popsicle with chili seasoning on top will tickle your fancy. you're so fancy, you fancy pants.

>> if you're really tired from all your NON-TOURISTY NEW YORKING, you can just grab a mommy and hit the snooze button.

>> OR you can go to the park and enjoy a little raspberry pistachio tart, again... for the win!!!

 

>> when it's a hazy, overcast day, perhaps you'll go work off your tart with a little gallivant on the hudson river. but beware! be very careful, there are sharks in the hudson. no joke. no freakin joke. 

>> being a local can be really tiring. so heres a little series of pictures (presented by remie) to help you unwind. (i will never stop forcing you to look at crazy cute pictures of my child. NEVER.)

 >> and when you're ready to call it a night, you can have breakfast at your local Le Pain Quotidien in the park. a little avocado tartine never did anyone harm.

and if you need more pointers on how to NOT be a TOURIST you can direct those to JH (who was my partner in crime for these pictures)! he has all the information you'll need. 

but ya know what guys, it's getting cold here and all the leaves are starting to fall off the trees. and when the leaves fall off the trees, it means my toes are going to fall off my feet (because winter is coming, ya know... and it's freezing...).

so prepare yourselves accordingly. i will start the preparations by running down to my favorite little bar, so catch ya soon!!!